The Sleep of Reason Produces Monsters, 1799, Francisco Goya

The Sleep of Reason Produces Monsters, 1799, Francisco Goya

My brain just won’t shut up. It is filled with malice and distrust. It is annoying and disconcerting. I am a conceited, selfish, condemning bastard. I do not have the right to judge people according to their actions but this critic just knows how to break through all self-control. It is more than the subconscious acting on me because it has always been a way of life for me. Everything and everyone is not special enough to satisfy me. My soul has been barred from unltimate satisfaction because of these ghouls. It projects shame and blame on myself and others, the very thing that keeps me from fostering. How will I ever get out of this perpetual churning of criticism?

I want to experience happiness through being inspired by the circumstances around me. I want to hustle and bustle through life without thinking about what is in it for me and think about what I can contribute instead. I want to develop the habit of not finding fault in others just to think highly about myself. I want to see this world as a place full of hope and love. I want this world to be a place that I want to be in instead of thinking about recluse and fear brought about by dissatisfaction. I do not want to torment myself anymore.

I want a role model that heals and fosters growth, not someone who presses someone’s fault onto my face. I want someone who’ll bring out the best in me and not someone who stresses my incapacities. I want someone who sees me and not someone who always hacks my ego with a scythe.

I want to be loved so that I can share love. I want to be accepted to widen my acceptance and boost my tolerance. I want to be me to show the world what better place it is through what I can bring.

My conscience is stirred everytime I realize that I unmindfully cast poor judgement upon others as it is not fair and just. May I learn the importance of compassion and empathy for each human beings are born naked and pure. No amount of status or attribute will exempt us from feeling and suffering the same human experience nor will raise us above some erected throne. My perceptions control how I view the world and a overly criticizing attitude will prevent me from being content with the bounty of life given to me and everyone else.


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